His relief is palpable. It enters the room before he does, a balloon that expands, filling up all the livable space, slowly pushing me out. So I slink away, holding my grief around me like armour, sharp edges that I scrape against his soft bubble of happiness. It does not pop, and I head to the bedroom where I can be alone with my pain.
His happiness cuts me like nothing else. Yet hurting him brings me no relief either.
My marriage is crumbling around me and I do nothing to stop it. I sit here and watch the pieces drop to the floor, make no effort to pick them up and patch the hole, and occasionally take my own swing at it, to hurry up the process.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Short
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5 comments:
I don't have any advice, just kind thoughts. I'm sorry you're struggling with this on top of everything else.
I am very sorry.
I have been through a really rough patch in my marriage, I could have written your post. We almost got divorced and I thought there was no saving our marriage. But we got through it. Believe me, I was SHOCKED. And now it's better than it has ever been before.
I don't know what is going on, but if you are at all interested in talking about it, I'd love to listen to you. Not to try to fix anything, but just someone who has been in a similar situation, listening to you.
Hugs.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with unhappiness in marriage along with everything else going on.
Wish I could give advice, but all I can recommend is counseling. I hope you can find the best solution for both of you.
ThanKs a Low..
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