Did you miss me?

Okay, so we're home. Back in L.A. where the sun is shining--although it's been cold this week, in the 60's, just when I was looking forward to some 80 degree weather. Damn. Delaware, per usual, was lots of fun, but it is always nice to come home. Home to my familiar bed, to our usual routine, to the comfort of the predictable.

(Also, very good to come home to this. All hail Tar Heel nation.)

The kids are in school, the laundry is done, the bills are paid and I--I went to the gym today. That's right. I returned to the place of my humiliation and not only ran on the elliptical machine for 21 minutes and 18 seconds but also did a complete round of the weight machines. It helped that I was the only person in there. It felt good. It still feels good, even though my tricep muscles are shaking. (And by muscles, I mean arm fat.)

I am completely out of touch with all of you because--despite the fake blog I set up specifically so I would have an excuse to be on the computer while I was in Delaware, I never seemed inclined to sit there for long. Too many nieces and nephews to laugh with, old friends to visit, dinners to make, parents to tease. Now that I'm home and have nothing much to do but take care of the kids and blog I'll be spending some more time with you. Though I've heard there is some sort of holiday coming up at the end of this month, so I might be a bit busy with that.

This reminds me: do you ever wonder what it's like to be a husband in December? Lance has to plan my birthday, but other than that, it's pretty much a regular month for him. No running around getting gifts, wrapping, cooking, decorating, etc. Fortunately for our marriage, I actually enjoy the bustle of December, so it doesn't bother me that our work loads this month are so lopsided. But if I was like my mother, and hated Christmas and all the activity it entails, December might be the reason Lance and I finally called it quits.

That's all I've got today, folks. It always takes a little while to get back into the swing of blogging after a hiatus. Hope everyone is well!

Sadness, on three fronts

1. I never have time to blog anymore!

2. Carolina lost the Baseball College World Series last night. Even though I find nothing more boring than baseball, it was still fun to have my alma mater in the race, especially since we are definitely NOT a baseball powerhouse.

3. I can no longer fit into the pants I bought when I was 2 months post-partum. (And not because they are too big.)

Blessings

If you are here via CityMama, please know that I don't always talk so much about sports. I am a wee bit obsessed with College Basketball, but that only happens once a year. It's almost over this year, especially since my team (North Carolina, of course) already lost. The women are still in it, though! Nevertheless, I'm usually talking about poop and other kid-related things here. I'm not sure how that's supposed to win you over, but there you go.

Mommygoth, over at Whatever happened to my rock n roll lifestyle?, writes a weekly post about all the things she is thankful for in her life. I love reading these, just like I love reading all of her blog--really, you should check her out, she's a fabulous writer. Sometimes I find myself feeling a teeny bit inadequate, as I am unable to come up with similar blessings in my own life. Oh sure, I'm incredibly thankful for the big ones: my beautiful children, my amazing husband, a roof over our heads, extended family that supports us in a myriad of ways--but the little things, the smaller things I've had trouble with lately.

However, as some of you noted in the comments, last night Duke lost to LSU. I'm feeling particularly light-hearted and happy today, as a result, and I thought I'd give blessings a try.

1. LSU beat Duke last night. I try not to take too much pleasure in Duke's pain, but the truth is the only thing worse than Carolina losing in the second round would be Duke winning a national championship. Plus, who am I kidding? Nothing makes me happier than Duke losing, especially in the tournament! It is true that the other teams I was pulling for (Gonzaga, because I hate UCLA; West Virginia, because I hate the Texas coach) lost, but I am willing to take that, just to see JJ Redick cry. Here, read this, if you want to revel some, too. But best of all, now I can remember this year for all the great things my team did, especially beating Duke at Duke on Senior night. It will not be tempered by the bitter pill of our rival winning a championship.

2. Isaac is potty-trained. I can't tell you how nice it is to change only one child's worth of poopy diapers every day, rather than two. I only have to take the Diaper Champ out once or twice a week! It doesn't reek to high heaven all the time! What else can I say about this? You wouldn't believe me if I tried to explain how much this has improved my qualilty of life, but it has.

3. I made a couple fish dishes in the beginning of the week and they both turned out. Then I turned the leftovers into fish salad which we had for sandwiches the next night. Last night was thin cut pork chops that I put in a store bought marinade, plus the leftover rice and couscous from the fish nights, and some quick vegetable stir fry. Which means I only had to go to the grocery store once, and I used everything up. Nothing rotted in Tupperware behind the Amstel Light in the fridge. On top of that, everything was edible. I know it sounds silly, but this pleased me to no end.

4. I have gone off the pill, and already I feel better. Granted, this is all in my head, since I went off the pill exactly 5 days ago, but still. No more moody, bitchy Amy.

5. Spring is coming! Actually spring is here, today in Los Angeles anyway. After a week or more of below average temperatures, the sun is finally showing her strength, and it's meant to be almost 80 today. If only it were 80 every day . . .

6. I purchased a dress for a wedding at an outlet store the other day. The dress is awesome, and looks great on me, but. But it cost $250, at an outlet store! I have been feeling guilty about it since I purchased it. I bought it at the MaxStudio outlet, but the tag (not cut in half, the way some are), says Max Mara. Also, it was the only one of its kind in the store, and didn't have a price tag on it. When I brought it to the counter, the twenty-something clerk seemed perplexed, but finally was able to ring it up. I'm telling myself that this is a high couture dress, probably worth WAY more than $250. It probably got sent to the outlet store by mistake! Now I don't feel guilty anymore! I feel like I got an awesome deal! I've been trying to find it on-line just to see how much I "saved", but I haven't had any luck. See? It's probably a one-of-a-kind. What a bargain shopper I am! Now my hair just needs to grow out from the bad cut I got at Fantastic Sam's, and I'll be irresistible at the wedding.

7. Our dishwasher has been dying a slow and painful death over the last several (like SIX) months, and we finally got a new one last week. It's a brand new experience to empty the dishwasher and not have to re-wash three-quarters of the dishes. Probably saving the enviroment a couple tons of water a week, too. Yay!

That wasn't so hard, after all. I don't know that I'll have so much to be thankful for every week, but you never know . .

One last basketball post, I promise.

You have never heard of Adam Lucas. He is a sportswriter for Carolina. He is probably my age. He has two kids, just like me. He bleeds Carolina blue, just like me. He is a phenomenal writer. (The fact that he writes passionately about something I am equally passionate about may influence my opinion here.)

Here is what he wrote about our last game. (Listen, I know no one else really cares about this, except maybe Nancy, and APL. So you don't really have to read it. I'm posting it here for me. Go ahead and skip this post; I'll come with something else tomorrow.)

When I was in Chapel Hill, visiting Chip, I saw a photo of Adam Lucas, and heard him talk on the radio. He is incredibly dorky-looking. And sounding. This bothers me. How can someone who so often writes exactly what I am feeling be a dork? Does that make me a dork? Probably.

I loved this Tar Heel team. I loved their spirit, I loved their effort, I loved all of them. My heart is broken, too, that we couldn't get past George Mason University. But I still have Senior Night in Durham, and that does ease the pain a little bit.

Okay, last post, I swear. Unless I win my pool, which will only happen if North Carolina comes back from the dead to win it all AND Duke loses last Thursday.

Crap.

Well. I didn't expect them to win the title again this year, but I sure as hell thought we could beat George Mason University. Ick.

My brackets are both destroyed, but I expected that, no matter how well Carolina did.

I've been very slightly ill for about a week now, and by Thursday I had laryngitus. I couldn't speak, AT ALL, until Friday night. This weekend has been busy and not restful, and as a result I think I've developed a sinus infection of some sort. So now on top of having the blahs, and my team completely blowing it, I'm sick. Wah.

Oh, here's some exceptionally bad parenting for you: Friday night Carolina played their first round game against Murray State. The game was not being shown locally here, so Lance and I decided to go to a sports bar/restaurant to watch it. Our babysitter was not available, so we took the kids. That's right, we took our 3 year old and our 1.5 year old to a sports bar on St. Patrick's Day.

Then, since Carolina couldn't even lock that game down until the last seconds, we kept the kids out until 9:30pm. I had hoped and assumed that we would blow by Murray State and be able to leave early, but such was not the case. That meant the kids were at the bar for almost 4 hours. Fortunately there were TONS of people to watch, a gazillion t.v.s, and several Ms. Pac Mans to play on. Lance and I and our friend Del took turns taking the kids outside to run around for periods too.

People loved the kids. We were like the freak show at a carnival: everyone did double-takes when they saw us. I don't suppose it's very common to see a couple of kids out at your local watering hole, on St. Patrick's Day, and on Day 2 of the tournament. Lots of very pretty twenty something women dressed in green ooh'd and ah'd over Vivian, and Isaac, to a lesser extent. If one of the guys had been single, it would have been a great way to meet someone.

As it was, Carolina escaped with the win, and we all walked out of there happy. The kids did extremely well, and I was proud of them, and just drunk enough not to feel bad about what I'd exposed them to. At least smoking is banned in bars and restaurants in California, so there was no danger of second hand smoke.

Which reminds me--did you hear about Calabasas banning smoking in all public places? As a non-smoker, I think it's fabulous. Calabasas is a town not far from us--maybe 25 minutes away with no traffic. I can see why people think the law is Big Brother-ish, but on the other hand, life is so much nicer when there is no cigarette smoke (or smoke of any kind, really) in your face.

That's all I've got today folks.

More boring basketball posts--update

So . . .if you participate in any kind of NCAA pool, how do you choose your picks? That's a lot of games to choose, and I know people put a lot of thought and time into it. APL? Stephanie? I'm curious, and also eager to share my own method with you.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that the best I have ever done is 6th place, just below the money mark, and once I came in second to last place (last place earns you 10 bucks). So, no, I have never won anything.

Here, un-proofed, is my own personal method for March Madness.

1. Always pick Carolina to win it all.

2. Always pick Duke to lose in the first round.

3. Pick all ACC teams, except Duke, to advance at least as far as they are seeded. Pick some to upset higher ranked teams.

4. Pick favorite teams (Michigan State, for Andrea; UConn, for highschool; Delaware, for old time's sake ) to advance.

5. Pick at least 3 upsets in the first two rounds.

6. Pick most Pac-10 teams to lose in the first round. Always pick Stanford to lose before the Sweet Sixteen, even if they are a number 1 seed.

7. Pick Gonzaga to get one round further than expected.

8. Pick the experienced programs (except Duke) to go further than expected.

9. Pick all number 1 seeds to get to the Sweet Sixteen, except Stanford.

10. Guess the remaining games at random, favoring the higher seed about 85% of the time.

That's how it works. folks. I would recommend you not follow any of these rules, as they don't work.

I forgot the most important one: Use any or all of these rules to varying degrees, depending on your mood. Oh, and be sure to fill out at least 2 brackets.

Currently, one of my brackets is in 1st place, and the other is in 4th to last.

Edited to add:

Dear CBS--

Please use better judgment when deciding which games to showcase locally. Hint: when a game is in the second half, and the score is split by 10 points or less, that's the one we want to see. We don't care if Washington is ahead of Utah State by 5 points with 12 minutes left in the first half. Really, we don't. Not when there are three close games about to end. Games that will end in upsets and last second heroics.

Come on. Do you really need a 36 year old mother-of-two to tell you that? Maybe I am wasting my talents on my children.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Yipee! (In case you don't have the time to click the link: Carolina 83; Duke 76.) It's poetic really. At Cameron. On Senior Day. A North Carolina team of one walk-on, three freshman and a senior, a team that lost 93% of its scoring power from last year, saunters into Cameron Indoor Stadium and beats the crap out of a team full of All-Americans. A team that all the sportswriters say is "unstoppable".

Sheldon Williams? Defensive player of the year, a senior for Duke. But we put up our freshman, Tyler Hansbrough, and he goes off for 27 points. Hmm, wonder what would happen if the defensive player of the year had to play against a sophomore??

I LOVE this time of year. I LOVE college basketball! I LOVE Roy Williams, and I love the Tarheels. Love, love, love, love them.

And I needed this win today.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Dude.

I love this. The only problem is that it prevents US from being the ones to deny them a perfect ACC record, though I suppose I can live with that. We still get to take them down, in their house, on senior night. (Coming up Saturday night at 6pm pacific. If you're interested.)

Even better, 2 minutes into the second half, we are beating Virginia by THIRTY.

Phew

That was a close one.

Dude, Tyler Hansbrough is a monster.

Boo Hoo

Well, that bites.

Moving on.

Another gorgeous day in Southern California today, so I took the kids to the beach. They had a fabulous time climbing all over each other and me, making castles, and getting sand into every nook and cranny in their little bodies. At one point, as I relaxed in a beach chair, both kids took turns pouring sand from shovels onto my person. It reminded me, as I got doused with the gritty dirty granules, of a conversation I often have with another mother.

She has children similar in age to my two, so we spend a fair amount of time together. However, we have very different parenting styles. This mother--let's call her Sybil--is very strict with her kids. Well, not necessarily strict, but definitely hard on them. She doesn't pick her battles very effectively, in my mind. For example, she gets furious if one of her sons steps on a plant in her backyard. Or takes off his shoes. Or leaves them on. Or gets mud on his jeans. Or brings out a game that has a lot of pieces. Or talks too loud. Or too much. Or whines. Or cries. Or . . .you get the picture. She's got a short fuse, I guess.

Just the other day, she and I were talking while the kids played in the backyard.

Sybil: You know, we have these really great friends that live not far from here--their son is exactly my son's age--but I just hate having them over.

Amy: Really? Why? I love knowing people who have kids the same age as mine!

Sybil: Well, they come over here, and their son is just wild. He runs all over the place and makes such a mess!

Amy: hmm.

Sybil: It takes me forever to clean up after they leave. I guess I'm just too tired or too old to deal with that, so I'd just rather not invite them over. *

With another mother, I'd probably agree. I mean, you don't want kids running rampant all over your house, and your kids should know to be respectful of the areas they are playing in. However, Sybil's definition of "wild" and my definition are "wildly" different. The kid probably accidentally stepped on one of her impatients or something. Maybe he knocked over a toy or two.

I can imagine her at the beach with us today. "No pouring sand! Don't get Mommy dirty! Listen to me, don't you dare dump that sand out! I am not bringing you to the beach again if this is how you are going to act!"

That is just not the way I parent. When her kids come over to my house, I expect the toys to get taken out of the toy box. I expect them to run around in the backyard and get dirty. I expect some plants to get trampled on, accidentally. I expect to have a bit more of a mess than I usually do, because there are four kids in my home, instead of the usual two. Same with the beach. To me, it's just sand. The kids are having a ball, and I can take a shower later, so why interfere? Let them have their fun.

Kids are messy, but guess what? They clean up pretty good. You can teach them to help you put away the toys, you can show them which plants to be extra careful around, you can explain the difference between pouring sand on someone and throwing it in their eyes. And, here's the kicker: you can do that without screaming at them!

* Also, I'm not an idiot, so I realize she was probably telling me, in her passive-aggressive way, that she'd rather we not come over either. But I don't let my kids go crazy over there--in fact, they are much better behaved then her two boys, who lean towards the manipulative and violent already.

Well, enough patting myself on the back today. Almost enough, anyway:

Isaac has been wearing underwear since 8am this morning with NO ACCIDENTS. I still have to remind him, frequently, to use the potty, since he has yet to recognize on his own that he needs to go. However, not long ago, he was playing in the dirt and said to himself, "Here's the purple shovel that's mine and Vivi can't have it because I'm playing in the dirt with it and I'm trying real, real hard not to pee in my underwear." Fortunately, I overheard, and we made it to the potty in time. Perhaps he WILL be potty-trained in time for kindergarten. (Though pooping is another story altogether.)

Vivian has also been peeing on the potty, about once a day. Yes, she's young, but I have hopes, people. The diapers, they are killing me.

HA HA HA HA HA! Just now, as I typed that lovely paragraph about Isaac, guess what he was doing. Go ahead, guess. Exactly! Pooping in his underwear! Which is not so bad, really--I expect some accidents--but oh! Oh, the trauma. It was 45 minutes of cajoling, hugging, explaining, bribing, threatening and everything else I could think of before he would allow me to clean him up. I don't know when he's going to recover from it.

Instant karma, anyone?


Last but not least: What is a good, not too trendy, not too common, not too out-there name for a boy? This should be a name appropriate to the East Coast.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Dook sucks.

Somewhere in Los Angeles, an underpaid, over-worked, twenty-something civil servant is laughing his ass off, imagining the stupid house-wife who will have to lug her screaming rugrats into jury duty, all because he failed to mention that she was exempt.

He does not know, however, that this stupid house-wife has some friends in the computer, friends who actually read things they get in the mail from the state, and so she has figured it out after all! Right there on the little form thingy, it says "Reasons for excuse: I have a personal obligation to provide full time care for another from the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m .. ."

I think he earned his little laugh-a-thon, though: I am, in fact, a stupid house-wife for not reading the form sooner. Like when it came, two months ago. I blame Heidi. Why? Because I can. She was here when I got it, and I'm sure she distracted me with some hilarious story involving egotistical men and their internet alter-egos.

Anyway, who cares? I don't have to go! Neener neener neener!

This, THIS is what you should care about. Okay? 5 minutes and counting until tip-off. All together now, GO HEELS!

Shocking News

“(Greensboro, NC) Atlantic Coast Conference Commissioner John Swofford announced today that a foul is tentatively scheduled to be called against Duke sometime in the first half of their game with UNC in Chapel Hill, next Tuesday, February 7th.

In a joint press conference with Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski, and ACC Director of Officials John Clougherty, Swofford said an agreement had been reached for a touch foul to be whistled on as-yet-to-be-determined Blue Devil player around the 7:00 minute mark during the first half of the game at the Smith Center.

"We are very excited to arrange something that hasn't been seen in our conference since 1998," said Swofford. "I want to personally commend Mike {Krzyzewski} for agreeing to thisunconventionall deal. We all know how reluctant he has been to allow any calls to go against his team."

Krzyzewski insisted that this move was purely a gesture of generosity aimed at rehabilitating his public image in light of recent lip-synching fiascos during several nationally televised games. "The camera did not catch me really uttering the BS-word during my argument with the official the other night. Those really were my lips moving but I wasn't really yelling the word. I'm sure our fans will understand."

"Mike is being a really good sport about this," noted UNC coach Roy Williams. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to play them with a foul being called against their squad, and to have it happen here in front of the home crowd will be especially enjoyable for our fans."

Clougherty says that unless unforeseen intimidation happens during the game, that the scheduled foul should occur without a hitch. "It all depends on whether Coach K holds up his end of the bargain and promises not toharasss our crew that evening." Clougherty also said not to expect any more fouls to be called against Duke this season, but did not rule out the possibility of another one being called in an exhibition game in November 2006. "The Duke AD told me that they are trying to schedule Marathon Oil for a pre-season game next year and we are in discussions about perhaps calling another foul against Duke in that match-up if everyone can come to terms."

The officiating crew for the Duke vs. UNC game will not be announced publicly prior to the game in order to protect their privacy. Swofford said he anticipated a media barrage and did not want the referees to be distracted from their big task at hand. "This is a big deal and a momentous occasion for the league. We need our employees to remain focused so that they can complete their jobs in what could end up being a very difficult situation."

Game Notes: If the foul occurs on February 7th, it will be the 27th foul called against the Blue Devils in their basketball history........... UNC fan favorite Byron (Colonel) Sanders had a chicken bone removed from his throat yesterday, and is expected to be recovered for the game...... Dick Vitale and Mike Patrick will be handling the TV play by play for ESPN. Vitale says he has no idea what he will say when the foul is called against Duke but he has been placed on a prescription sedative as a preventive measure. (Patrick could not be reached for comment, and was last seen entering a tanning salon in Durham with a picture of JJ Redick)......... A CBS 60 Minutes television crew is planning to attend the game to catch the event on tape for an upcoming expose on the Duke basketball program and how Mike Krzyzewski uses friendships and loyalty to advance his own agenda.”

*****

In news that might be more interesting (though not as funny): Just now I sneezed, and Vivian said "Bess you, Mommy."

Awww!

Sweet

The women rule. And dook sucks, as always.

Uh oh.

Last night, this happened. Lance and I were there. Sigh.


But, just to be that much more of an asshole, Thing One sent me this today:

Did you catch that game last night? I listened to the last 4 minutes coming home from the office. Our guys outscored your guys by 20 in the second half for a blowout victory. The 3,000 fans in attendance stormed the court afterwards.

Tim Floyd and a new arena could be a potent combination. Basketball and football; an embarrasment of riches.

Merry Christmas!


My first response was this: "The true embarrasment here is that we have to claim you as a family member." Since I couldn't send that, I sent this instead:

There is no one by the name of Amy (Lance's last name--I kept my maiden name) at this address. If there were, she certainly wouldn't respond to such a mean-spirited e-mail. Merry Christmas!

Does anyone know how to block an email address from outlook? It keeps telling me to click the organize button but I don't seem to have one.

Love and basketball, part deux.

'Nuff said.

Love and Basketball

Tuesday night, this happened. I know that this is a "rebuilding" year, I know that we lost everybody, including 95% of our scorers, that I should be grateful we are NATIONAL CHAMPIONS, that I should feel lucky that we only got edged out by Illinois, rather than being swept off the court--but I don't. I feel depressed, and it doesn't help at all that these assholes won last night, after almost blowing it to a team I've come to appreciate ever since Bobby Knight left the building.

So I'm depressed because of that, and because I'm not pregnant*, and because Lance and I are in the midst of a lull, or a rut, or a something, and it's not a pleasant place to be. We can't seem to communicate without snapping at each other, without getting defensive or losing our sense of humor. So we don't communicate at all. We feed and bathe the kids, we eat our dinner in silence, we retire to our respective televisions, we go to bed.

But now I'm making it sound worse than it is, because we are not angry with each other, not all the time. We're just not connecting, on any level (if you know what I mean). In the midst everything, we still laugh at the funny things Isaac says, smile when Vivian learns a new word, roll our eyes at the latest infraction from Thing One. We still say I love you and kiss each other before bed, before leaving for the day.

Then Lance makes a comment that I take personally, and I react defensively, and he gets frustrated, and I get mad. We haven't been able to enjoy each other in I don't remember how long. Yes, we enjoy the kids together. Yes, I still look across the room at him and feel blessed and lucky to have him in my life. Yes, I know that I love him, and I know that he loves me. We just feel oceans away from each other, and attempts to bridge the gap end in a fight.

Why? Has it become a habit for me, to be annoyed with him? Am I so tired of being a giver all day long with Isaac and Vivian that I have nothing left when he comes home from work? There is a part of me that feels a slight, but constant, resentment of him. I'm sure this stems from my own insecurity about being a stay-at-home-mom. The minute I feel un-appreciated, or taken for granted, my armor goes up, and the claws come out. Then, when he is not around, I remember all the reasons I love him, I realize how fortunate I am to be able to stay at home, I recognize that I should appreciate him more. But when he comes home, the resentment just pops up again. Why do I insist on holding onto this anger?

We are working on this, but it's difficult, slow going. We have designated Wednesday nights as "date night". Not that we go out, but that we make an effort to turn off the television and talk about things that are bothering us. We made a rule that we would consummate the conversation, so to speak, every Wednesday, no matter what, in an effort to feel more connected. Last night, the conversation quickly turned to argument, and no consummation occurred. (Is this wrong? To divulge such personal information on the inter-webs, for all the world to see and judge? Shouldn't I feel more obliged to keep this to myself?) We didn't go to bed angry, but we didn't resolve anything either.

Tonight we are going, as a family, to pick out the Christmas tree. This is a chore that usually brings me much joy, and I'm hoping it does the trick tonight. Family times are still fun times, and maybe the good cheer will last once we get the tree inside.

But Lance's team sucks this year, too--so it's not just me.

*I should note here that if I was pregnant, that would also be cause for depression. No, I have yet to get my period, but I did get a negative pregnancy test. And Lance's joke about me possibly "drying up"? Not helpful.

Breaking News

FOUR former North Carolina Tarheel basketball players were selected in the lottery of the NBA draft yesterday. It is the first time one school has had so many players go in the lottery.

Check them out.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Sadness

Well, we suspected it would happen. But still, to lose your 7 best players? That's 2 more than plays at any given moment, for you basketball infants. The national championship rings are still being resized, but already we are mourning.

Though I can't really blame them. They got us the trophy, how can I ask more than that? Good luck, Sean. Ray. Jawad. Jackie. Rashad. Melvin. Marvin. We will miss you!



Oh, by the way. My friend David burned me a mixed Bruce Springsteen cd, which I am listening to right now. I am in love with it. I have been in love with Bruce for as long as I can remember, and now that I live in California, where many people do not appreciate him, I love him even more.

A thousand times, thank you.

When I started this blog, I thought it would be a good outlet for me, to keep my brain cells from dissolving in the rice cereal I stir up for Vivian every morning. And I thought it would be a good way to track my children's lives, especially since I have been so very remiss in the baby-book department.

I did not expect that I would "meet" so many wonderful caring people. People who, without ever meeting me, have encouraged me, and supported me, and made me feel important. I had no idea that blogging would lead me to this wonderful place full of special people, who read about my life, and--shockingly--are interested in it, care about what happens to me. I thank all of you. Your support means more to me than I can adequately express.

I am feeling better. I took all of your advice (though unfortunately I cannot move to Chapel Hill, Heather), and you people know that of which you speak. My mother was in town this weekend, which allowed me to have some time off from the kids, and I went to the mall, singing loudly in the car on the way, bought a brand new outfit, which my saint of a mother paid for, got my nails done, and drank in the sunshine (outdoor mall). I bought an ice cream cone, and, wow, the power of ice cream! Especially on a sugar cone! Especially eaten in the sunshine, with no squirming children to demand your every attention!

This weekend was very healing: my mother was here, my team won a national championship, my friends in blog-land made me feel loved, and my hormones seem to have settled down. I remember that I felt the same sort of melancholy when I finished breastfeeding Isaac, and just knowing that much of this "depression" was caused by that, and therefore temporary, made it easier to accept.

I have always been a fairly content person, and feeling so icky really upset me, and made me appreciate my luck in the temperment department. I cannot imagine what real, clinical depression is like.

Oh, also: my post about "Cocktail Moms". I stand by everything that I said. However, I wrote that when I was feeling particularly low, a fact that colored my perception and caused me to miss the humor. I couldn't appreciate the "tongue in cheek" way that many of the posters were speaking, as Jen gently reminded me. I apologize for that, and promise to lighten up in the future.

I leave you with this:

These guys are awesome!

I hate Blogger today!

Arggle. Finally I feel like blogging again and just getting into Blogger is trying my patience.

So I will just say this: I am here. I am depressed (probably due to all those nasty hormones since I just got my first post partum period). I am tired. Both kids have colds again. Vivian also has some stomach bug and is either vomiting or shitting all over the house at all times. Isaac was up at 4:45 this morning. For good. Vivian still has horrible horrible horrible excema all over her face. Did I say I was tired? I haven't showered in two (or more?) days and what little hair I have left is so greasy it is leaving stains on my shirt collars. Wahhhh!

The good news? My mother is coming to town to visit starting tomorrow night. Hooray! The sun is finally out and it's a beautiful day. (Though we can't go to the park to enjoy it since both kids are sick--oh,wait, this was supposed to be good news. Sorry.) The Tar Heels are in the Final Four.

I think I need a mantra, and I just found it: The Tar Heels are in the Final Four. The Tar Heels are in the Final Four. The Tar Heels are in the Final Four.

Hope this week is finding all of you in much better spirits!

And, thank you, Trisha, for asking about me.