Wednesday, June 15, 2005


I feel a need to tell a story or two about some people in my life. These people are related to me by marriage and they are not what you would call friends. The only reason they are in my life is the sad and unbreakable fact that they are related to me by marriage.

The thing is, I promised myself I would not discuss them here. For one, it is disrespectful to my husband, although he feels the same way as I do, with the added ratfuck that he still loves one of them, since he is related by blood. For two, what if they stumbled across this blog? For three, and perhaps most importantly, I am afraid that once I start I will be unable to stop. There are stories I could tell about these two, people. And I mean storieS. Sadly, as desperate as I am to vent about these two, I fear that after the first couple stories, you, my loyal lonely readers, will become bored bored bored and leave me for greener pastures.

But still. I must. I must. I must.

My husband's grandmother, Nana, is ill. She is 89 years old, has either beginning Alzheimer's or dementia and was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. She is a wonderful woman who has lived a long and happy life. Her husband died a year ago of the same cancer.

My husband's younger brother, Thing One, is almost 30 years old. He was married a year and a half ago to a princess, Thing Two, who is 26 years old. They both have an incurable intestinal disorder. Thing One has had several surgeries and is on some kind of medication for it. Thing Two's is much less severe. They are strange people. Both very immature and incredibly self-centered. Ego-centric, really.

Since before they were married, Thing One and Thing Two have spent a lot of time with Nana. My personal feeling is that they are comfortable around her because they can control her. She is not entirely with it, so they can tell her what to do. Control is big for these people.

Okay, so before I get too involved in this, here is the story I want to tell. This story is completely typical of the way these two act, which is the reason there is much animosity between them and the rest of the clan.

Nana had three sons, who have gone on to have 14 children among them. Friday, Nana was sent home from the doctor's with instruction to drink two cans of Ensure on Sunday evening and come to the hospital Monday morning for surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from her colon. Sunday evening one of Nana's sons arrived at the house to find Thing One and Thing Two feeding her a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

Now, here's the kicker. Thing One and Thing Two were well aware of the doctor's orders. They had the piece of paper with the instructions clearly written on it. They had told the uncles that they would love to stay with Nana and take care of her until someone came to spend the night. AND, when questioned about the chicken noodle soup, they claimed that the doctors didn't know what they were talking about, and there was no reason Nana couldn't have chicken noodle soup.

Further, when the uncles got pissed off about this, Thing One and Thing Two acted completely put out, as if they were the victims. They were only trying to help, and everyone else was being ridiculous, and mean to them!


Please tell me on what planet it would be appropriate for the 26 year old in-law (who is NOT A DOCTOR) to decide what medical instructions the grandmother should follow. And without bothering to ask the sons of said grandmother! The arrogance, rudeness, idiocy of these two is without equal.

I could tell you more stories. Here's one: Thing One was a groomsman in our wedding. He overslept and arrived at the rehearsal dinner 2 hours late. We had the pictures taken before the ceremony, and he arrived 45 minutes late, wearing the wrong color jacket (the men were supposed to wear grey suits).

But now I must stop. NO MORE.

Though I do have another secret.

This week there is not enough money in my checking account or either savings account for me to buy groceries. Southern California is expensive, especially with two in diapers, and only one income.

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