Monday, October 24, 2005

Caution: Lameness ahead

Okay, I know this is idiotic, to post one of those email "memes", but I think it's pretty funny, and mostly true. So I'm posting it, and you can't stop me.
While I realize that most of my readers are not from Southern California, I think this list should make you appreciate your own state even more. You can thank me later.


Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.

You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican. Or you're Mexican, but you don't speak Spanish at all.

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes."

You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see above).

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

In the "winter," you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562," and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "949." Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because it stinks out there.

You know what "In 'N Out" is and feel bad for the other states because they don't have any.

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

You really can never be too rich, too thin, or too tan.

You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times.You don't remember at least 1 of them.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.

You think that Venice is a beach.

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.

The gym is packed at 3pm . . . on a workday.

You think you're better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of the hill you're currently residing in, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

You know what "sig-alert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH".

The Terminator is your governor.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

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