Sunday, October 02, 2005

Meme Time--Edit

The lovely and talented Chantal over at Bread Crumbs in the Butter tagged me for a meme, so here you go:

Ten Years Ago:
I was 25 years old. I had recently ended a very brief interlude with a guy named, I kid you not, Woody. I was working for the furniture company, living in San Francisco with Heidi and Alex, generally happy but feeling slightly bored with my life. I hadn't been in a true relationship in 3 years (unless you count Paul, and let's not), and I was lonely. In 4 months I would go on a blind date with Lance. I spent a lot of time at the bars on Haight Street, or hanging out with my best friend Jen and her boyfriend Fred. (Originally Fred was my boyfriend, but that's a story for another post.) Jen was sober then. When I wasn't doing that, I was sun-bathing on our roof-deck with Heidi and the girls from across the street, or letting Heidi dress me to go out (no fashion sense here), or eating dinner that Heidi made for me (truly, a rockstar of a roommate), or sitting in my room with the door closed wondering when my life was going to start.

5 Years Ago:
I was 30 years old. I was living in Los Angeles with my husband Lance in a tiny, 800 sq foot bungalow we paid $1700/month for. Still working for the furniture company, but now in L.A. It was my second wedding anniversary. I bought Lance a Kid Rock CD, which neither one of us ever listened to. Heidi had moved to New York. Jen was still in San Francisco, but no longer with Fred, and no longer sober. I was trying my best to force Lance into home ownership, and he was resisting on all counts. In 8 months we would purchase the house we live in now. I sun-bathed on the patio and read a lot. I didn't have any friends, except the women I worked with.

One Year Ago:
I was just barely coming out of the hell that was my life the first few months Vivian was born. Isaac was almost 20 months, Vivian was almost 4 months. We had just returned from Hawaii. Vivian was still up several times at night to nurse. Isaac was a maniac, and not in pre-school yet. The light at the end of the tunnel was the knowledge that November 1st I was heading home to Delaware for 4 weeks--4 weeks in which my mother, sister, niece, nephew, and other best friend Susanna could help me with the monsters. I was probably drinking too much. (Yes, I drank when I was nursing. No, not during the nursing sessions. I did have my daily beer, and it was the only thing that kept me sane.) Heidi had moved to L.A. and was dating Steve. It was my 6th wedding anniversary and we: what the hell did we do? I can't remember at all. We must have gone out to dinner. I'm sure it was lovely.

We got a babysitter and went to a housewarming party for a friend of my husband's. Although this friend--let's call him Neil--spends a decent amount of time with my husband, and by default me, I do not consider him a friend of mine because--well, he's kind of an asshole. So we went to the party and I got very very drunk and now I'm hungover. The end*.

Okay, there is much more to this meme but I am beginning to bore myself and god knows if I'm boring myself the rest of you must be about ready to slit your wrists, so I'll stop. If anyone would like to participate, consider yourself tagged. You can see what the whole thing is supposed to look like here.

Okay, okay: here's one more tidbit from my exciting life for you.

I walk into the playroom where both children are playing loudly (read: fighting) in the hopes that my presence will quiet them down. It doesn't. I lay down on the floor hoping this will make the pounding in my head go away (I'm hungover, remember? Didn't you read the whole post?That part, up there, where I said I was hungover? Gah. You people.)
Immediately, Vivian starts crawling over to me. The gleam in her eyes says: "Yay, a Mommy jungle gym! I can jump on her and stick my fingers in her eyes and head-butt her! What fun!"
Seeing this, Isaac runs over to me, blocking her way and landing triumphantly on top of me with all 35 lbs of body mass. Ugh. I gasp for breath and try to push him off me but not onto Vivian.
"No Vivian!" he yells, as she approaches. "That's not your Mommy! That's my Mommy! MINE!"
Commence screaming from the wee one.
The end.

Yes, I am still hungover.

*I was going to go into the long boring story about why Neil is such an asshole but it's just too much fucking trouble to spend on a guy who's an asshole, so there you go. Longtime girlfriend, sex on the side, do I really need to say more than that?

Edited to add: Jesus! My anniversary is not today, it's tomorrow. Who's the asshole now?

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