Happy Crap Day

You should have seen Isaac when I picked him up from school today. He was completely beside himself. In his hand was the heart-decorated tissue box he'd made, stuffed full of Valentines from all his friends. The teachers had handed out the filled boxes just before the end of school, with instructions not to open them until we got home.

"I want to go home, Mom!" Isaac shouted, practically running Vivian over as he tumbled out of school. "I want to show Vivi my Valentines! Let's go home!"

In fact, he had good reason to be excited, for--behold his loot:



Perhaps I shouldn't admit this out loud, in such a public place, but my immediate reaction to all this crap is--what the fuck? Since when do you have to give out lollipops and bags of assorted hearts and homemade cookies for Valentine's Day? Especially at pre-school? Whatever happened to the nice simple card? There were only two home-made card in the whole bunch, and one of those had a Hershey's kiss affixed to it. The rest of the cards were attached to elaborate candy filled bags, or at very least, a heart-shaped lollipop. Isaac gave out those cheesy, pre-made cards you buy at the drugstore--his were Scooby-Do--and we did not attach any kind of sweet.* Frankly, it never occurred to me that I should. These are 2, 3 & 4 year olds, after all--do they really need candy?

I did buy some Valentine colored M&M's for the house, and each kid got a mini peppermint patty to eat at breakfast, but that was it. Had I known Isaac would be bringing home the contents of the Nestle chocolate factory from school I certainly wouldn't have gone that far.

Look, I know that at the heart of things I am basically a lazy mother. I am not crafty, nor inclined to become that way. I am not sentimental, and most of all, I am cheap. These are not necessarily desirable traits for mothering, but take me for what I am.

Many other mothers are not this way, and they enjoy crafting the cards, baking the cookies, what-have-you. Actually, the home-made cards are nice, and I don't mind them at all. Would I ever do something like that? Probably not, but that's because of who I am (see above). It's the candy that really bugs me. The candy in the elaborate bags with the expensive bows, etc. These are pre-schoolers! They don't need candy! They would be just as thrilled with a box full of simple cards, and then their parents could dole out any candy at home.

Doesn't it seem like everything these days is more, more, more? Huge, catered one-year old birthday parties. Presents out the ying-yang for Christmas, and every holiday in between. $100,000 Sweet Sixteen parties. Teenagers sporting $400 leather jackets. And no, Valentine's Day candy is not quite the same thing, but it still bothers me. Why do we have this need to out-do each other? Or out-do the year before?

Blech. Now I'm all grumpy, and Lance isn't even home to ease the pain, so to speak.


* Isaac did get one other card like this--a simple Hello Kitty card, with no sweet. Thankfully.