Tuesday, April 05, 2005

A thousand times, thank you.

When I started this blog, I thought it would be a good outlet for me, to keep my brain cells from dissolving in the rice cereal I stir up for Vivian every morning. And I thought it would be a good way to track my children's lives, especially since I have been so very remiss in the baby-book department.

I did not expect that I would "meet" so many wonderful caring people. People who, without ever meeting me, have encouraged me, and supported me, and made me feel important. I had no idea that blogging would lead me to this wonderful place full of special people, who read about my life, and--shockingly--are interested in it, care about what happens to me. I thank all of you. Your support means more to me than I can adequately express.

I am feeling better. I took all of your advice (though unfortunately I cannot move to Chapel Hill, Heather), and you people know that of which you speak. My mother was in town this weekend, which allowed me to have some time off from the kids, and I went to the mall, singing loudly in the car on the way, bought a brand new outfit, which my saint of a mother paid for, got my nails done, and drank in the sunshine (outdoor mall). I bought an ice cream cone, and, wow, the power of ice cream! Especially on a sugar cone! Especially eaten in the sunshine, with no squirming children to demand your every attention!

This weekend was very healing: my mother was here, my team won a national championship, my friends in blog-land made me feel loved, and my hormones seem to have settled down. I remember that I felt the same sort of melancholy when I finished breastfeeding Isaac, and just knowing that much of this "depression" was caused by that, and therefore temporary, made it easier to accept.

I have always been a fairly content person, and feeling so icky really upset me, and made me appreciate my luck in the temperment department. I cannot imagine what real, clinical depression is like.

Oh, also: my post about "Cocktail Moms". I stand by everything that I said. However, I wrote that when I was feeling particularly low, a fact that colored my perception and caused me to miss the humor. I couldn't appreciate the "tongue in cheek" way that many of the posters were speaking, as Jen gently reminded me. I apologize for that, and promise to lighten up in the future.

I leave you with this:

These guys are awesome!