Monday, March 20, 2006

Would you like to give some Ass-vice?

I know that other bloggers complain about the bad advice, or judgment disguised as advice, that they receive in their comments section. Fortunately for me, I don't have that problem. All of you, my loyal, bored-to-death readers, leave me nothing by supporting, helpful advice. For example, I think I may get an IUD now; before I "knew" Sugarmama, I thought IUDs were scary! See? Good advice.

So. Now I am asking for more.

My daughter Vivian is 21 months old. She sleeps with a pacifier. She has slept with a pacifier since she was a very small girl--an infant. I don't have anything against pacifiers for infants. Newborns need to suck, and if you don't want to be offering your boob every five seconds, a pacifier is a good substitute.

(Of course, don't give the kid a pacifier if she is hungry or just needs some love. I do not advocate the use of a pacifer as a crutch--unless you're feeling really tired, then jam that thing in her mouth the whole damn day. If she keeps crying, put her outside in the car with all the windows rolled up, where you won't be able to hear her.)

After about 4 to 6 months, I think it's fair to limit the pacifier use, so the child doesn't become too dependent on it. Use the pacifier only in bed, or when the baby is really upset about something. Sounds reasonable, right?

This is what we did with Isaac, and it worked beautifully. He loved the pacifier until he was about 3 or 4 months old, when he found his thumb. After that, it was all thumb, all the time, until he was two or so, when he just gave the thumb all by himself. I patted myself on the back for that one. What good parenting skills I have! Oh, you silly parents with kids who suck their thumbs at age 3, you are doing everything wrong! I am the most fabulous mother in the universe!

Then came Vivian. She never found her thumb, and has no inclination to, since she's obsessed with the pacifier. She knows she can't have it unless she's sleeping, and she doesn't ask for it at any other time. However, she is completely dependent on it for sleep. She asks for it the minute I put her in the crib, and gets frantic if she doesn't see one right away. Lately she's been waking up around 5am and screaming for us to come find her pacifier for her. I have no idea why she's doing this, as she's perfectly capable of reaching the three inches from her face to find it herself, and furthermore she's been finding it on her own for over a year now, but whatever. Now she screams, and by the time we get in there to hand her the pacifier, her brother is awake, never to sleep again.

I think it's time to wean off the pacifier. I dread it. And part of me thinks it's too soon. What do I care if she uses the pacifier in bed, after all? It's not as if she's walking around in public with it. If she'd just stop waking up so early, it wouldn't affect me at all. She doesn't wake every morning, either, but it has been happening about 50% of the time. Also, she's not even two; who am I to deny her something that gives her such comfort? On the other hand, I know it is not good for her teeth, and I might as well stop it now before she becomes more attached to it. Right?

I'm not sure. What do you think?

1 comment:

isimsiz kahraman said...
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