FYI

My game is tipping off in a few minutes, and I am already drunk. Off one Amstel Light, one glass of 5 day old chardonnay, nerves, and the fact that Vivian screamed for 3 hours (no joke) before her nap today.

(Go heels.)

UPDATE: at halftime we don't even have 30 points. What is wrong with Raymond and why can't we shoot a free throw???

UPDATE: So Raymond finally showed up, but we still couldn't hit a free throw and tell me--how did we not get a shot off in the final 15 seconds, down by 1??

Why, why why why why?

(Okay, look, I know. This is sports, this is entertainment. This is not life or death. And I realize that it is pure narcissism to assume I have anything to do with whether they win or lose. But permit me this indulgence, okay? I am drunk, remember????)

First the Eagles, now the Heels. Have I angered the gods in some way? Is it because I harbor so much hate for the dookies in my soul? Because I honestly believe JJ Redick is actually Satan, in a homosexual form? Is it because I was not a good mom today in so many ways, including forcing my children to wear Carolina gear all day long? Or perhaps because I wore the same Carolina shirt I wore last year to the Dook games (both losses)? Please, tell me, so I can correct the error of my ways.

The day will come when the Dookies will pay. This I promise you.

Until then, we will not speak of this again.