How to win an argument

The other day, I was feeling (and perhaps acting) a little bitchy. I can't remember why, probably I got no sleep because the children are insane and maybe my husband wasn't helping me enough. That's usually it. Although, to be fair, he actually does help quite a bit. And I do appreciate that, sometimes.

Anyway, we got into an argument because he didn't want me to run back into the house to get Isaac's jacket. He insisted it was warm enough and I was being ridiculous. I realize that I live in Southern California, and yes, it was a warm sunny day. But it wasn't that warm! It was 69 degrees, according to the car. In the sun, it felt warmer, but who's to say we would always be in the sun? In the shade, it feels colder! And colder than 69 degrees warrants a coat, in my book. Not too mention the boy was wearing shorts and a short sleeved shirt! All I wanted was to run in the house and get a jacket just in case he got cold. But noooo, that is an absurd and outlandish idea! How could one even suggest such a ridiculous thing!!

So we didn't get the freaking jacket, and we were driving along and I was giving the cold shoulder and then being snide when forced to speak (can you tell I'm 35? What, you thought maybe a teenage mother?). We stopped at the local store and Lance ran in to pick up some snacks.

(I will add a sidebar here: while Lance was in the store, I had the following conversation:
"Mommy stoopid."
"What?"
"Daddy stoopid."
"Hmm. Well, uh, lets not say that, okay?"
"Mommy stoopid!"
"Wait, what are you saying, sweetie? I don't think I'm understanding you."
"Fuck! Fuck!"
Cough. Clear throat. Look outside car to be sure no one has heard.
"Wow, look at that doggie out there! See the doggie? What do doggies say?"
"Doggie! Doggie say bow wow wow. Doggie driving!"
Ahem. Crises averted, I suppose. And no, we were not swearing during the argument, although I suppose it is possible that "stupid" was tossed about.)

To continue: When Lance returned from the car I was still giving the cold shoulder, and so couldn't even relay above conversation. Considered repeating conversation and blaming spouse completely for it. But then . . .

Lance hands me the bag of groceries and a 5 dollar bill.

"Jeez, do you have to throw things at me? What is this?"

"I'm paying you to be nice to me."

"Oh." Long pause. "Okay." Smile.