Vivian, oh Vivian

I was going to write this wonderful post to you--a monthly newsletter ala dooce*--but right now it is 1:43 pm, and that means you have been screaming in your crib for 43 minutes--wait, now it's 45. You are so pissed off at me, dear sweet wonderful child, and you are there in your crib, screaming as loud as you can so that the WHOLE WORLD can hear you and know--I am killing you. I am poking you with large, sharp objects and then pouring salt on your wounds. If only you could tell me that sleeping during the day in your world is akin to being forced to eat mounds of mushy peas in mine. But listen to me carefully, darling daughter: I will ALSO force you to eat mushy peas if you dont STOP SCREAMING. And I KNOW how much they suck.


*no, I obvioulsy haven't figured out linking yet. And anyway, who needs all these links? Are you that lazy, oh internet, that I have to provide one click links for you? You can't just google it yourself??