Wednesday, March 02, 2005


After my little pity party yesterday, I had to post this: I know I am blessed. I know I am lucky to be able to stay home with the munchkins, and I know that lots of people would love to have it as "bad" as I do.

The thing about blogging--maybe about life, in general, actually--is that it is more interesting to write about the bad stuff. It's that whole--"you think that's bad, you should have my life" kind of thing. When I'm feeling happy or content, then I don't usually have the urge to write. I usually have the urge to keep doing whatever it is that is making me feel so good. But when I'm depressed, or overwhelmed, or frustrated--that's when I write.

In a lot of ways, I love my life, and I love it more now that I ever did before. Which doesn't mean I don't have bad days or weeks or moments, or times when you couldn't pay me to admit that. Writing is a way for me to let off steam, a place for me to vent so my husband doesn't have to bear the brunt of a 10 poopy diaper day alone.

Which is all to say, this blog could very well be skewed in a negative direction. Just to let you know.

One other thing. There is a little nagging voice in the deep recesses of my brain, one who says, "SIDS can happen up to 1 year of age." or "Don't they say that babies who don't play peek-a-boo are likely to have Autism?" or "It's awfully rainy out, I wonder why isn't Lance home yet. Wasn't there a really bad accident on the 405?" I just can't keep that damn voice quiet. Every time I admit how great things are, how much I love my children and my husband, that little voice is there, whispering how I don't deserve them, or how bad things happen to good people all the time, so why not me. On some level, I am in a constant state of apprehension, waiting for the other shoe to drop, just so my little voice can have a good laugh and say "I told you so!"

And writing about how bad things are generally keeps the little voice away. Writing about how good things are--well, that just makes him* speak up.

*Of course the little voice is a man, what did you expect?


Psycho Kitty said...

Hey POW--
You definitely need to leave comments at other blogs so that people know you're here! I found you through my Sitemeter readings and I'm really flattered that you actually read my blathering crapola. Your kids are darling and your bathroom tile is gorgeous and you don't suck, so there.
Oh, and I don't know if this will fix your funky text problem, but if you're comfortable with it, try this: Go into your Blogger settings, go into your Template, and scroll down until you find the line that says
[!-- End #sidebar --]
(only the brackets will be pointy instead of square.) On the blank line just above that, put the following:
EXCEPT use the pointy brackets (the ones on the comma and period keys) instead of the square brackets. I can't type the pointy brackets here because it wouldn't show up.
Anyway, I don't know if that'll work, but it's worth a try. And thanks for visiting me, and hang in there, and hope the blogxplosion thing treats you well.

Piece of Work said...

Psycho Kitty-

Thanks! I didn't realize you could track me down, and it's kind of embarrassing. I feel like I've been calling your home and hanging up, and all of a sudden you star 69'd me.

I do read your blog every day, and I love it. You were the first blog I ever read (you posted a link on Ben & Birdy) and you were the reason I started this blog. I had no idea this underworld of bloggers existed before that!
I will try and be braver and start leaving comments--but I'm such a dork I get nervous that I'll say something ridiculous. If the blogosphere is high school, then I'm a freshman--with bad hair, zits and no sense of fashion. Hopefully I'll get my bearings soon.

And, thank you for the help with the code! I will definitely try that and be eternally grateful if it works. I had completely given up on it myself.

Also, what does SBFH stand for?